Mommy Mondays: Asia on being a Single Mom and Starting Her own Journey

Happy Monday, Ribbies!

Mommy Mondays are back for the last month in 2018.

Lets jump right in. 

Tell us about yourself.

Hello. My name is Asia Young Grant. I am twenty - eight years old.  I am a single mother of two (Madison and Amir), I am an Aquarius. I currently work for the Department of Homeless Services (DHS). My title is Community Coordinator. I work with children who are victims of domestic violence, diagnosed with autism, ADHD to name a few. I am a person who wears many hats. I fit into any environment, in with any race. I am adventurous. I am bubbly., charismatic, and outgoing. I love connecting with people. I feel like my purpose has everything to do with who I am. I like creating and learning while putting a smile on people’s faces. Inspiring while having fun while making life enjoyable is a daily goal. I try to stay away from negativity and uplift those who cross my path.

Tell us about your kids.

My children: I will start with Madison. She is eight years old. I found out about her at the two-week mark. I have always said she is the reason why I matured. the reason why I looked for a better job and the reason why I went back to school. she is my motivator. Madison is wonderful, smart. loving, talkative. She is always learning and her conversations are beyond her years. She is going to be a talk show host/ fashion designer. I can see her on camera. She blends well everyone. I love and want to cherish how she is now. I was just like her and lost that. I never want her to lose who she is.

Amir is four years old. He is my baby, a momma’s boy. My surprise baby. I found out about him at the four month mark. He is very outspoken, very blunt, very to himself. I love his smile. He loves everything that has to do with Math and Science. I can see him being an engineer. He surprises me because he does not talk all the time. If you did not know him, you would think he does not know much but, he knows a lot!  Amir pushes my strength. My kids are my everything. they are the reason why I push the generational blessings that I have before me.

You recently did a 40-day Journal Challenge with friends and family. Tell us about it. What inspired it?

The 40-day self-reflective journey is about just that, self! We have to be true to self, know thy self and be comfortable with ourselves to make it in this world. Many times we are stagnant and unable to appreciate the here and now because we are too busy trying to figure out the future. We also miss out on opportunities trying to reach unattainable goals. We miss the self-care factor. We have things harboring in our souls from the past like how people view us and what we learned from our parents. As far as what we learn and what we want to perceive, the 40-day journey is for us to use questions to reflect on the past, present, and future, The purpose is to better ourselves.

The journey for me started with a year of growth and constantly trying new things. My co-worker turned 40 and wanted to a do this journey but did not have any questions to follow so I came up with the questions. For me, I want to bring my core with me. How can I be strong and have week people around me? Not weak but, How can I let the people I love suffer and not reach their full potential? I want to bring women of different backgrounds together like what you do here at R.I.B. I feel like there are days when we do not feel like ourselves, we don’t feel beautiful, we are slacking in the motherhood department, That is what this journey is about.

How is single motherhood? Has it positively or negatively affected you to date?

Honestly, I’ve felt like a single mother since I had my son in 2014 but, relationship-wise, I have been a single mother for a year and a half. It was easy for me in the beginning because I have a great support system. I did not really feel it until about six months in. That winter I really got the chance to ask “Why am I by myself?” “ Why am I afraid to be alone?” I went into a deep thought process whereas I neglected a lot of my motherly duties. It was so overwhelming. I didn't know where to start; what to do because I always had someone that eased the stress of parenting. I do not consider myself to be mommy and daddy. I decided to just be a mom. All I can do is give the children as much love and nourishment that I can. I can not overwhelm myself trying to make the children happy in a way that I am trying to represent their father. I have to this parenting thing at my capacity. I also have to learn that it is okay to be selfish. I was scared to being guys to my house as I have a daughter that is watching. I want to do things right. Even having a guy see me alone with two children has had its way of letting insecurities creep in. I am continuing to grow as a single mom while trying to have a love life, build a career and become an entrepreneur. It is very difficult but, I just have to put time into everything.

The benefits of being a single mother are finding new ways to build bonds with my kids. I try to do separate things with each of them because they are individuals. I want to start family Sundays where I do activities with both of them one week and separately every other week. Both mommyhood and trying to keep that strong balance of being a friend. I want to build a bond where my kids will come to me for anything.

What advice would you give to aspiring mom entrepreneurs?

Have a purpose, a why. Why do you want to be an entrepreneur and a mom? I feel if you mix to two together to an extent, it would be less stressful. the biggest reason for me is to start generational wealth for my children. I want the business to be in early stages where they can expound upon it or in a place where they can take it over. I want to show my kids what it is like to have a skill that you do not learn in school and making it become something big. I want them to know that talent can go further than 1+1.  Your children are our market. They will be brutally honest about your business. Madison is very honest. She helps me. She gives input. It is good o hear their opinions and to make them feel included. Make it fun and make sure the goals you set are attainable.

How would you advise single moms? Anything you want to say to your village?

I was a young mom and I thought that I could do it all by myself. You can not! As much as you do not want to listen to old wive tales and so-called myths in regards to family, you need people. You need a village to be successful. To keep a roof over your heads, to have a strong background with family traditions. I am thankful for my village. I have fantastic grandparents, parents, incredible friends, siblings, extended family, and Godparents. They all have pushed me. My family brings the necessary relief which I need in order to have a strong foundation for my kids. My friends let me know when I am slacking, they lift me up and they got my children with no questions asked. I am thankful. As I grow, they grow with me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thank you for joining us on R.I.B. today!

Follow Asia here: IG:InspiredbyAsia

xoxo,

Shay Nefeteria