Mommy Monday’s: Alicia on being a Bonus mom
Alicia and I have been friends since sophomore year of high school. Obviously, many things have changed since we have graduated. Marriages, divorces, new relationships and, dating. Let’s get to it!
Hi Alicia!
Please formally introduce yourself to the world.
Hello Mommies...and Daddies as well! My name is Alicia Jimenez! I’m 31 years old, full time career mom and parent! I service children in need! I’m a early childhood educator!
Name your kids from oldest to youngest and your favorite attribute of theirs.
Taking each day by day! All my babies are old enough to have some sort of responsibility, from youngest to eldest, they each have one chore! Just a small task goes a long way, as simple as having Abigail wash the dishes, Devaughn tossing the trash, Aleeah wiping the table down and Samuel wiping his high chair tray!
Being an independent mother of more than one child, how do you keep your balance?
Many ways that I balance is having a bedtime and setting time for myself; to reflect on the day, prepare for the next day, SELF CARE, expressing daily challenges to a close group of women who share daily challenges as a woman whether they have children or not! I feel that communicating with close friends is a way of releasing and expressing, a way to let go and give room for advice, encouragement, and growth! Having a close circle of women to push and encourage each other to keep pushing! I also try to indulge in time outside of home with friends, “Adult time”! I realized that I will always be a mother first but I should never forget about me! It is ok to selfish, it is ok to go out once in a while and not be on mommy mode. I was my own person before my children and will continue to be my own as I help and mold my children to be their own person in the process!
I know personally that you can cook your butt off, what is your favorite quick meal for a weeknight.
My favorite quick meal on a weeknight are tacos, very simple and all you need to do is cook the chicken, chop some lettuce, tomatoes, add cheese and sour cream! You can never go wrong with tacos!
I am a product of a super extended family. What advice can you give other bonus moms when it comes to joining a family unit with your own children.
My advice to mothers who have bonus children is to always keep in mind the happiness of the children. Be cordial and respectful to your bonus children’s mom. Respect what she expects. Most importantly before you fall hard for the man, love the children like your own. They say “it takes a village to raise children”, that is right on target. Every parent should be on the same page when it comes to the educational aspect and well as mannerisms of the child(ren). Adult issues among parents should never interfere with the children. The children are not at fault and as parents our duty is to provide a sustainable lifestyle that will keep the children’s lives at a happy medium! We should not mix our issues and be petty. As I said being cordial and most importantly keeping the children happy!
Is there a saying that your mom or dad says often that you find your self saying to your kids? If not, what is your saying?
A phrase that I catch myself often saying is what my mother would say “if you don’t do what I asked from you, prepare to pay the consequences”. I crack up in silence or as toddlers would say “my inside voice”, a constant reminder that I would like my momma!
In your experience, what is the hardest part about your role as bonus mom?
The hardest role as a bonus mom or challenge is that although I want to include them in just about everything, there are those moments that I’d rather share intimately with my daughter and son, because I want to keep those moments just for my kids and I!
What is a big ‘no- no’for you, if your children were to have a bonus mom/dad?
If my children had a bonus mom a big no- no for me is that I ask the bonus mom to involve herself when there’s an issue that I have with the father when it’s pertaining to my child. As a mother you know your children and momma always knows best!
How do I keep my balance?
My advice to mothers who have bonus children is to always keep in mind the happiness of the children. Be cordial and respectful to your bonus children’s mom. Respect what she expects. Most importantly before you fall hard for the man, love the children like your own. They say “it takes a village to raise children”, that is right on target. Every parent should be on the same page when it comes to the educational aspect and well as mannerisms of the child(ren). Adult issues among parents should never interfere with the children. The children are not at fault and as parents our duty is to provide a sustainable lifestyle that will keep the children’s lives at a happy medium! We should not mix our issues and be petty. As I said being cordial and most importantly keeping the children happy!
I am because we are, and because we are therefore I am.
-African proverb
Thank you for your time and motherly, expertise. Drop your social media if you dare.
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Xoxo,
Shay Nefeteria
