Mommy Mondays: Tradonia & Eliyah

Happy Monday Everyone!

I am excited for today as it is our first official ‘Mommy Monday!’ 

On the RaveledinBlessings today, we have Singer/Actress Tradonia!!

 At what age did you become a mom?

I became a mom at the age of 27.

How old is your child? Tell us about her/him.

Eliyah is three years old. She's a fireball. She's brilliant, she has a big personality. She's just ME, and MORE. Eliyah is very loving. She's very balanced. She loves to learn and she loves the arts. She loves to sing and dance. I carried her my whole pregnancy singing and dancing so it's in her. She always wants to be involved. She is just a beautiful spirit. She loves dresses. She is a princess altogether.

What type of mother would you consider yourself?

I think the role of mother changes. I can be the disciplinary. I can be her best friend. I am her teacher, you know? I am her nutritionist. It just depends on how our day is going and what's going on; what's happening. I wouldn't put myself in one category. I am a mixture of things when it comes to being a mom.

What’s the biggest lesson you learned thus far being a mom?

The biggest lesson I've learned thus far being a mom is how to love. I don't think I really learned how to until after she was born. I mean from the thought of me even giving birth and just being pregnant with her created a bond I can't explain. Once she came out of my womb—even before she came out of my womb, I had to get things right and prepare her room. I put her before myself. That is the biggest lesson. You putting someone else before yourself. Me laying my life down for somebody else. Before you have the child, it's about you. You do what you want to do. You go out, you splurge, you don't have to worry about too many responsibilities. When that baby comes along and, you love her, or you love him, you are willing to do any and everything.

Do you see yourself ‘becoming your mom?’ ( Does your mom’s teaching come out sometimes? )

Of course, I see my mom in myself! My mother, she was a single mom with three kids. I don't know how the heck she did it. I only have one, and I don't know how I'm doing it. The lessons, the morals, the values that she instilled in me, I'm definitely instilling in Eliyah. I see my mom come out when I call Eliyah by her complete name. I see my mom come out when she rolls her eyes  and those southern sayings start to come out of my mouth and I'm like "Lil girl if you don't sit your hind parts down somewhere and act like you got some sense..." That is my momma; that is her but, I also see my mom when she is discouraged and says  "Mom, I cant do this dance or I don't have any friends.” I think about myself when I had low self-esteem and she was always so encouraging. My mom, she taught me to love myself. I remember Eliyah's first ballet class, and she was so nervous. Oh, my God, I have never seen my baby nervous, she never gets nervous. This girl, she is ready to perform and do her thing but, this day she was like 'Mom. I'm so scared. I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go.'  Instantly, I saw myself and my mom and I was like wow, this is the first Mother-Daughter talk that we are going to have. I just embraced her and encouraged her. I said, Eliyah, you can do anything that you want to do. You have to put God first! Don't be afraid. Don't walk in fear and even if you are fearful, you still do it, you use that energy. She went to ballet class and she was fine. So yeah, I see my mom in myself and I am truly thankful to have the mother that I do have. She is a blessing.

Any advice to other women out there on parenting? Self-care while parenting? Being a woman in conjunction with parenting?

Some advice that I have for other women that are parenting is... I encourage you guys to breastfeed. If you have the opportunity and you do not have a lot of complications with your body, I encourage you to breastfeed. I encourage women who are pregnant to eat as healthy as possible and to teach your children to eat healthy as well. I also encourage you to just trust your gut and your instincts, you know? If you do take advice from someone, take advice from someone who is successful in parenting; someone that you could look up to...To be around other parents who have the same goals and who live the same lifestyle.

Some self-care advice I would say is: Ladies, no matter what, always, always, keep your hair done. I feel like when your hair is done, I don't care if your clothes are tore up, you got a pimple on your face...try to do your hair. If you cant afford to get it done,  go to youtube or go buy a wig or something. You have to keep your hair up to par. If you got a girlfriend who can do decent hair, who is a 'kitchen beautician,'let her hook you up. Your hair is your crown, and when you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you have confidence. 

We are women first. You are your own person first! A lot of the time, people just want to label you as a mom and say ' You cant do this and you cant do that because you're a mom.' Wait a minute, I'm a person first. I am a woman first. Before I had a child, there was just me and, you have to remember that. When you remember that, its a lot easier to parent because you don't lose yourself. It's really hard not to lose yourself when you become a parent. You have to be cognizant of how to balance the two. Also to teach your daughter how to be a lady. Teach your son how to treat a lady and, you have to carry yourself with a certain heir. So when your children get older, they'll say: My mom was a confident lady, she was lady-like, she was gentle. You just want to be a good example of what a woman is supposed to be. Yeah, we like to be sexy and twerk and things like that. Like I said, there is a balance. There are times and places for that. Don't lose yourself. That is so important because I lost myself when I was pregnant with Eliyah. I was pregnant and I didn't feel beautiful. I hated my body. I didn't love me anymore. It seemed like everything on the outside said I had to look this way and I had to be perfect and it really tore my spirit but, its a process. As time went on I learned to love myself. This is the only body you are going to have. You have to live with it for the rest of your life. You aren't going to be able to be anyone else. So you have to learn to love what God has designed. We are created in His image. If you don't like your body, start working out, start eating healthy. If you want to feel sexy, go buy some lingerie. Go out on a date if you're single.

Thank you for your participation in Mommy Monday’s, Tradonia!

Follow Tradonia on IG: DoniSoulSinger24 FB: Tradonia Baker

xoxo,

Shay Nefeteria

African Party date

Eliyah and Mommy In the community garden