Soulful Sunday: But first, YOU

What I know for sure is that if you don’t put yourself first, no one else will.

Not a friend, not a job and especially not a man. I don’t know a lot and when I was asked to write for the beautiful soul that created this blog I immediately said YES, but to what? I guess I said yes to openness. I agreed to be authentic. I complied to share with whoever had time to read this and whoever felt the need to continue to read it because they felt something in their hearts and in their spirit… maybe some commonality? I just picked up Oprah Winfrey’s book What I Know For Sure, and became inspired almost immediately at what the question meant for me and what the first thing that came to mind was and I became so emotional- It’s ok to put yourself first.

I’m telling you this to remind or reassure you but not because I have mastered this at all. I am 30. I am a mom. I am a wife. I am an educator responsible for 92 Middle School students… and others that come to talk my ear off or cry on my shoulder. I feel responsible for so much. I want to do so much more and learn so much more…I want to be so much more. It’s so hard for me to put myself first. It’s so hard for most of the women I know to put themselves first because they are so committed to taking care of everyone else. When you are responsible, and you take care of all that you need to and some that you don’t have to, it’s hard.

It’s also hard to be there for everyone when you’re not ok. It’s hard to give when you feel empty and hold on when you’ve let go of yourself while you were trying to please everyone else. You deserve happiness, go get it. You want to do things and go places, go see it.

Go.

Be.

Do.

We can’t be drained because it compromises our peace. We can’t let others make us question our worth. We come first, we deserve- you deserve freedom. You deserve independence and the time and space to practice self-care without feeling guilty for it. You’re not a bad mother for needing a night out. You’re not a bad wife for wanting to be alone for a little while. You’re not a bad friend if you can’t make it to this or if you can’t be there for that because you just need to give yourself a little more and everyone else a little less of you. We have to take care of ourselves before can take care of anyone else.

Because our babies need strong women to mold them and strong women have cups that are full of love, adventure and peace. I use to think that love, adventure or peace would come from a career, or from a strong bond with a friend or my husband but it didn’t and I was so confused… I was looking for completion in everything else instead of in my heart and silly me because this love is greater than anything i’ve ever felt, self love.

I’m telling you to put yourself first because it’s not an option, its necessary. I’m telling you that no one else will love you the way that God loves you and wants you to love yourself. I’m telling you that the kids will be ok and your work will be there after your session of self-care and that man will still love you, but only if you love yourself first.

Best,

S.Oseafiana

‘Self Love’ Acrylic on Canvas by Shay Nefeteria